Beardens' Blog

Accountability - Owning All the Consequences

  

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“It’s the economy, stupid”, is a quote from a former presidential campaign. It is also the explanation many people would give for their current states of mind and emotions. They’re scared, disheartened, frustrated, confused and/or mad as hell, and if asked to explain those feelings, they’d quickly say something like, “It’s the economy, stupid!”

OK, let’s be honest; haven’t we all experienced some of those feelings as the news about what’s happening has become worse and worse? I’m not for a minute suggesting that this—or any other setback—should be cause for rejoicing. In fact, I think some appropriate, rational “grieving” is in order.

But at some point, we need to progress beyond grieving. If we’re clinging to the mistaken, but powerful Victim belief that our feelings are the emotional consequences of what happens out there, then our responses will likely be some form of abdication; we'll surrender to the outside circumstances.

I want to introduce an alternative belief, the one I associate with Accountability. I invite you to compare it to the Victim belief and to consider how these two beliefs will support totally different choices about the circumstances we encounter. Here are the two beliefs:

In the first—and mistaken—belief, our emotional state is seen as an outside-in phenomenon, determined by what happens out there. Convinced that the fear they experience when faced with troubling times is caused by those times, people clinging to this belief use the duration and intensity of their negative feelings as “evidence” to validate their Victim Belief.

In the second—and valid—belief, we awaken to the fact that our emotional state is an inside-out phenomenon. We most certainly will be impacted by the outside factors we encounter, and most of us will experience fear when faced with setbacks. But with this belief, we reduce the duration and intensity of our negative feelings, allowing us to do less “hunkering & hoping” and more looking for ways to win, regardless of the hands we’re dealt.